Have you ever imagined how Scooby-Doo and the gang would look if they were all Instagramable? Well, that is The Archies 2023 in a nutshell. One thing that The Archies 2023 Movie does well is making every scene aesthetically pleasing, whether it is the location or the outfits; everything looks perfect. Or, as Conan Gray would say, what a sight for sore eyes.

However, is aesthetic all that The Archies does well? I watched the entire movie to figure that out and here is my honest review.

Synopsis of The Archies 2023

Now, Green Park is the main focus of the movie. As the central park of Riverdale, Green Park holds sentimental value for every citizen. As every kid in the town turns 1, they plant a tree in this park. Mind you, this Riverdale is situated somewhere in Himachal Pradesh, India, and has a population of Anglo-Indians.

The story starts when Hiram Lodge, along with his wife and daughter (Veronica Lodge), returns to Riverdale. Hiram did not return to Riverdale because he missed it; no, he wants to change the entire town by buying the local shops, building a plaza, and a grand hotel in The Green Park.

Now you can imagine why this wouldn’t sit right with the citizens of Riverdale. So, the entire story revolves around the citizens, mainly the main Archie friend group. Will the citizens of Riverdale be able to save their beloved Green Park, or will Hiram Lodge win? You will need to see the movie to learn that!

Star Kids' Acting

It is not a secret that this movie was specially made to debut three star kids: Shahrukh Khan’s daughter Suhana Khan, Sridevi’s daughter Khushi Kapoor, and Amitabh Bachan’s grandson Agastya Nandan. All three of these nepo-babies were trained for their roles for a year in advance, something a regular young adult with acting dreams can only dream of. Even after coming from Bollywood families and getting the best acting training that one can get, the acting of the main trio was okay. There were moments where their acting shined, but there were also moments where the acting was laughable.

On the other hand, I liked Vedang Raina as Reggie Mantle quite a lot.

Unexpected Subpar Music

The first thing that always comes to mind when I think of Bollywood is the music. Music in Bollywood is known for being over-the-top colorful and memorable. Unfortunately, that is not what I can say about the music in The Archies. Well, the music was not boring, per se, but it was so ordinary that I forgot what I listened to after a few seconds of the song ending.

The lyrics were also subpar. For example, one of the songs featured in the movie is "Everything is Politics." All of Archie’s friends sing this song to him to explain that everything in life is connected to politics, and he cannot do anything in life that is not connected to politics. However, the song seemed very one-dimensional, as the entire lyrics of the song were about politics without ever explaining why. Surprisingly, by the end of a song that lacked any evidence or argument, Archie was convinced that everything is indeed politics.

I mean, if the film producers wanted to show that this song was written on a whim by a bunch of 17-year-olds with zero musical knowledge, then they succeeded in that.

(Unnecessary?) Love Drama

One of the things that I disliked while watching The Archies was the love drama. In the words of Ethel, “Archie is a philanderer.” For the entirety of the movie, he cannot decide whether he wants to be with Veronica or Betty.

My sentiments changed, however, when I learned that this love triangle is very canon-appropriate. The love triangle between Veronica, Archie, and Betty is one of the longest love triangles in the history of pop culture. So much so that two separate timelines of comics show him married to each one of the girls.

One thing that I, however, appreciated about this love triangle was how it was concluded. Both of the girls, Veronica and Betty, never fought over him. Even upon finding out that he was kind of 'two-timing' with them, they went to his house to tell him that they should all stick to being friends instead."

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